Of all the posts I write, I always try to be fun and funny. Maybe this one will get there, maybe not. But still, I felt compelled to talk about what it is like to live in such a small space, how I got here, and how it has made me feel. I am also going to challenge myself, and you as well, to revisit this in a few months to see if I still agree.
Once upon a time in my life, it was all about making money. Lots of money. As much money as I could possibly make. And with that came the ability to own a HUGE house (and a lot of other “things”). I remember staking out huge houses on impossibly large lots of land, fantasizing about what it would be like to live in such a massive place, how jealous (we will come back to that) it would make my friends and family- and complete strangers as well to see that with such a huge home, came such… success. I wanted people to see my success status.
I worked my ass off. Quick side story- my dad passed very suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 20 years old. As the primary breadwinner of the house, my mom could no longer support me, my brother and herself on her salary alone, and so it was. Nikki’s tuition and random money here and there was now all up to Nikki. It’s one of those situations where you can feel sorry for yourself, or you just get to it and not complain, because complaining won’t get you anywhere. This was about the time that I was a full-time, pre-med student working for the proverbial “beer money.” And now, I needed to pay rent, utilities, food, tuition, clothing, gas… everything, on my own. So I then became a full-time pre-med student who was also a full-time employee. I think it was then that this obsession with having things and “one day” having a big house all came down on me. One because I like a good challenge, and two, I was so far from financial stability in my mind as I saw it that it was a good dream to have. And dream it was.
Fast forward to a decade and a half later. I started realizing that I was buying less “stuff.” And I didn’t feel like I had the need to buy anything anymore (unlike in the past when I would list all of the “things” I wanted to one day own). My husband and I had bought a huge house, which we had been living in for a couple of years. While it was beautiful, I would always get annoyed at having to clean it. So then I started dreaming of how nice it would be to have maids come and clean it for me. Why? Because it was too much, and more important- I wanted to be doing things, making memories, having experiences- all of that instead of cleaning for hours on the weekend. I loved having people over to marvel at what a cool house it was… structurally, it was really unique and private. More so, just our bedroom alone (not counting the 5 other rooms that came off of it in the master suite) was the entire size of my first apartment. But, I still didn’t feel like I was ready to let go. Let go of what people thought. Let go of my closet (oh ma lawd my closet… It had a desk for me to get ready in, with lights installed and I had a speaker and it was just my whole haven.) Let go of some of the other rooms in the house.
I soon realized that I was holding onto the memories in that house. I was holding on to the hours and hours of work we put into it. The memories we made doing that- even though at the time it was hard, hard work and LOTS of money… in the end you really only remember the great times. I also realized you can’t live in the past. And holding onto something because of the memories it had would prevent new memories from being made. But, it was also this point I chose to let go of what I thought I needed to have. That this sort of “prestige” was a bunch of bullshit. And then I started thinking about all of the people who thought this is how they needed to live their lives… name brand clothing. Visible name brand stuff, big houses, the best cars, purse collections. And I began to feel sorry for them. (This doesn’t mean you can’t like these things if you do- that is your prerogative, it just isn’t mine). So of course, if you read the previous posts, you know what comes next. Sold it all.
We sold it all and bought a camper. And while the camper is pretty big, relatively speaking, she’s big because she has to house us, our dogs and our life. At the end of the day, our bedroom is smaller than the open space in my old closet. My new closet is 4 feet long. I have 1 drawer for my other things. We went from about 5,000 square feet to less than 300. So, what about intention?
Intention. Our good friends at Webster’s say it is “A thing intended; an aim or plan. Your goal, purpose, or aim is your intention. It’s something you mean to do, whether you pull it off or not.” It can also be in medicinal terms, “The healing process of a wound.” We talk about intentions every day, and in so many different ways. Live our life with intention, speak with intention, many of us (hopefully) assume positive intentions with people. But, what does it really mean when you live it day-to-day? This is where my life changed a lot.
I have always wanted to be more conscious of what I do. What I use. But, in our busy daily lives, that can get tossed by the wayside without even thinking. Probably because we are just so used to freely doing and using what we need when we need it. I remember when I worked in a corporate setting- the sheer number of people who would order food “to go” and use throw-away products (granted they are compostable, thank goodness), when there are dish drop offs on every single floor. Some folks would take 2-3 disposable cups (I still don’t know why) when there were reusable ones right there. No one needs 15 napkins, but grabbing a heaping handful was “normal.” Anyhow, this isn’t a rant, just an observation. So here I am, now in this “tiny home” and life was about to get a whole lot different.
In intentional living, here is how my life looks now, as a list.
When I wake up in the morning, I make coffee. Justin and I only brought 3 coffee mugs. I typically reuse mine for a couple of days, rinsing it out, and putting it in the microwave when I am done until the next day. I don’t think you need to wash your own cup and waste water. And, the sink is really small.
I open all of the shades to let the sunlight in. Our camper has windows made to keep it cool when it is supposed to be cool inside and warm when it is supposed to be warm. We turn the thermostat down to 60 at night because the furnace heats the bedroom faster and hotter than the rest of the place, so it gets super hot. That conversely means it is really cold in the morning. A good, warm robe, a cozy blanket, coffee and slippers really keep it warm until it heats up. Also, a couple of candles can make a big (good smelling), difference.
When I shower, I have about 3 minutes. Our hot water heater stores about 6 gallons of hot water (appreciation moment- the shower gets hot, fast so I feel even better about using less water). Why do I do this? Currently, we are hooked up to a sewer- so whatever I use, goes right into there. But, that won’t always be the case. We might hunker down in a park where sewer isn’t available. When that happens, you have to empty your gray and black water into a portable tank, take it to a dump station and manually do it. The less I use now, the more prepared I am for those situations. Also, our shower head has a feature to “pause” the water, so when I am sudsing up or shaving, I can pause it until I am ready to use it again. Justin and I also know that the septic tanks aren’t really ready to handle toilet paper, so we do the “Costa Rican” method, and throw it away. Because we have a bin that we use for that, that “waste” is now available to be composted.
Making meals with intention is a whole different experience. In my old home, I would use whatever I needed, then toss it into the dishwasher. Well, now, Justin and I ARE the dishwashers. So when I cook, I reuse pots and pans if or as I can. For example, if I make bacon, the grease will work great for making anything else that needs butter, oil or grease. Again, some folks may not like this or think it is gross- I am not trying to change minds, this is simply an outline of how different my life has become, and the concessions I had to make in some instances, along with some I chose to make. I meaning Justin as well in some cases. We only have 2 pots and 2 pans. And ditto for plates and bowls (a couple more, but you get the idea). These also have to be washed right away- as I don’t want them sitting (again) in the small sink. So, I cook, we eat and then clean up right away.
This is a perfect segue into grocery shopping. I can’t buy a ton of food at once, and when I do buy food I have to keep a few things in mind.
– Will it fit in the fridge? (This is where my years of playing Tetris when I was supposed to be paying attention in math class comes in handy. And I am totally serious. I have never had to calculate angles of things, but I HAVE had to rearrange that thing more times that I can count. Sorry Mrs. Bauer)
– How long will it last, and do I have a meal plan that will include this? This not only goes for things that go in the fridge, but also in the pantry. We have 4 shelves, including the floor (that are about a little over a foot and a half by a foot and a half). These shelves hold non-perishable food, our plates etc., cups, glasses and air fryer/blender/crock pot. There is one shelf dedicated to food. Again, in our old home, we had a whole huge pantry. It makes me sick to think of everything that we threw out when we moved because we weren’t going to use it, it was expired (by the years in some cases) or we didn’t have room and it wasn’t high enough on the importance list.
– Do we really want it/need it? When you are in a HUGE grocery store, it is easy to fill your cart with things you might want later. For example, Justin and I had about 7,000 bags of tea (no exaggeration) that we never, ever used. But, it was nice to have in the event we ever wanted it. Again, that occasion was never.
I also take more frequent trips to the grocery store (and these trips are not standalone- when we hike the dogs or are out and about, we go then). With a list. And I don’t go every day, but more often and get exactly what I need. It helps that we have also made a loose list of what we plan to eat each day. Coincidentally, and to no one’s surprise, this helps in eating healthier anyhow. When I do go grocery shopping, I am armed to the helm with reusable bags… I don’t have room for tons of plastic bags (nor do I want to). And on the note of reusables- I don’t have room for disposable anythings (and from an environmental perspective, am SO thankful). So we have steel straws, Tupperware (yes we will be transitioning to glass- but I don’t want to toss them until they need to be for the sake of glass), a friend and co-worker made reusable “paper” towels. As in, they are fabric with Terrycloth in the middle, and they are AMAZING, and far more absorbent than paper towels are. We actually use the reusable coffee filter that comes with the coffee pot. I have a silicone scrubby for the dishes (so it lasts a LOT longer).
Inevitably, this takes me to laundry. We have a hookup for a washer/dryer combo- but I am on the fence about it. So, in the meantime, we use the laundromat here at the park. Thankfully, they are high efficiency. In living with intention, we only do laundry once a week, if that. We do have dogs, and Mika, my sweet girl with epilepsy does have potty accidents (from her medication), so I have to make sure there is a pad for her to lay on- and if she does have an accident, that we take care of that quickly. So, we reuse our shower towels, use the reusable kitchen towels (obviously with both of these things, we are not putting our health at risk and know when to not reuse). And our detergent has to fit a small space as well. There are lots of brands that pack a punch but don’t use up so much space.
And lastly, comes overall space. Everything that we brought with us, or acquire has to have a place to go. One of the things I LOVE about small space living is trying to maximize the space you do have, and find ways to organize effectively. This isn’t so much about environmental friendliness as it is just about making sure everything fits and is easy to access. That is a tough combination, my friends. It can be easy to pack things into a shelf or drawer, but if you can’t get to it easily (or have to take everything apart to get to it) it is just a pain in the ass, and will end up shoved back in, or doesn’t get put away at all. I loathe clutter, and as such, everything inherently has to have a place to go. One of the things Justin and I have had to work through is putting said things in said home when not in use. It is a learning experience, and we will get there. For me, looking at our drawers and shelves has meant a lot of changing spots (Justin I apologize for making fun of you for asking me a thousand times a day “honey do you know where…?” or “have you seen my…?”). But it feels good to change things up and get them to a place that truly makes sense. That said, I still have my mixing bowl set above the TV- but that is neither here nor there 🙂
Intentional living means you have a day-to-day plan. Of course, this takes work- and certainly isn’t perfect. I liken it to dorm life living, but more environmentally sound because we can afford better products. Eventually we will be able to bike to the grocery store (and that is our goal- to use our car less). The place we are staying now isn’t “biker friendly,” (i.e. not safe) which is a whole different post entirely… the lessons we have learned in this first month about choosing a place to live have been outstanding- in the best and worst way possible (but I love it, and appreciate the lesson).
Intentional living has been tough and not-so. I think you have to either be ready to make huge changes, or be forced to. For me, it was both. I didn’t have an option, but I wanted to make a difference in a smaller carbon footprint. I am using far, far less of our precious resources than I ever have in my life. I also get to benefit from how it makes me feel. And I have also enjoyed being present in my daily decisions- both large and small. On top of it all, I have saved so much money. Because I am not being wasteful. That feeling far outweighs the minor inconveniences I have felt occasionally.
The other part to this is the life I get to lead- I don’t have to get kids up, ready and off to school. I don’t have to sit in traffic to get to my 9-5, run my day and then sit in traffic on the way home- and then try to cram in errands, exercise, dinner etc. I also get to live intentionally in a spiritual good-for-your-mind-body-and-spirit way in that I can take the time. In the morning, once I get up and make my coffee, I have time to decide what I want to do with my day, when I will fit the things in I need to do, and want to do. I take a 3 minute shower, but lounge around casually journaling, cooking, blogging or writing my to-do list. There is something HUGE to be said about having that time. But I have that time because I didn’t want the things that came with that sacrifice.
So that, friends, is my interpretation living an intentional life.
Cheers, and stay intentional where you can.
Nikki
#MeyersGoMobile
Expedition: Happiness (and the art of wandering) 