Threehundredsixtyfive.

Holy crap you guys, we have been living that camper life for a WHOLE YEAR! *Whoopsies! I’m a little late to my own party here… it’s actually been a year and a week. As I have said a thousand times more or less in that time, my only regret is that we didn’t do it sooner- it’s been that much fun, and inspiring and transformative. And in those 365 trips around the sun, I have learned so much about myself, Justin, our life and everything in betwixt that I would love to share with all of you.

First, I have learned that we don’t need everything we think we do. And I have been ecstatically surprised by how much I am no longer defined by “stuff.” It is hard to get to that point, but once you are there, it is amazing to see 1. how much money you are able to save and 2. how insane it is that we become tied to those physical possessions. I remember I used to frequent TJ Maxx just about every weekend. There wasn’t a thing there I needed, but it felt good to go. And “treat myself.” But, the only treat I was giving myself was debt. And that debt was the reason I had to have a job. And that job didn’t serve me, so in effect, I was really doing anything but treating myself. What’s more is that when I made this decision to pare down and only had so much space to bring the things I really needed, almost none of that stuff I so thought I needed came with me. So, I was torturing myself more than there was any treating happening. And I am so thankful to be free of that cycle. And debt. It’s been a full year, and my credit cards have been tucked away in the safe. This is truly unbelievable to me. Since I was 18, I (as I am sure so many others) have been a slave to credit card payments… Use the card. Pay the minimum. Use the card. Freak out when I am close to my limit. Panic because I can’t believe I spent that much. Shame myself for buying crap I don’t need. Head to TJ Maxx. Cycle continues. My credit is now nearly perfect (and for those of you keeping track, a sure sign of the apocalypse). It is truly unbelievable to me that this financial freedom has become mine, because for, well, ever, it was so far out of reach. Also, if you were to ask me exactly what I got rid of on any of the 500 trips I took to Goodwill to donate stuff as we packed to start this adventure, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t remember any of it. And yet, it took up so much real estate in my well-being.

We also used to live in a close to 5,000 square foot home. What did I ever think I needed with that much space? It took SO LONG to clean. Like, a full weekend… And we didn’t even use 3/4 of the space for anything other than to look at. And dust. I know why. Because I thought that a big house was equal to success. But it doesn’t. And, really, no one cares how big your house is. This is such a hard truth… we care so much about what others think, and all they think about is themselves. And then what other people think. See how this is a wild ass cycle of mayhem?

And so, I let go of that. I let go of what I thought other people wanted to see from me. And that is where the real transformation began.

Another huge lesson I have learned is just how wasteful I was. My minor in college (oh dear sweet college, how are you so far away now in time??) was in Environmental Science… what the hell was wrong with me? Well, I will tell me exactly what was wrong with me. Convenience. And she’s a real bitch. Seriously. I can’t even believe how much waste we produced, and how much stuff we threw away (of course recycled too, but still). Again, having a big home means, at least in our case, we needed more stuff to put in it. And thus, more stuff we got rid of from time to time. And then there was the water. Laundry, dishwasher, showers… it just goes on. Collectively, I have used less water in this last year than I did in a month. And I don’t think I am exaggerating in the slightest. I also get to proudly say that I have use 2 (two) plastic bottles in the last year. Both were non-emergency emergencies, but I quickly learned that I will just keep a water jug in the car. My goal for 2021 is zero. But, zero is also the number of straws I have used, so there is that. We have learned so many strategies for reusing things, again, due mostly in part because we don’t have the space- but it’s almost silly how much easier it is to do so. I have also learned in our adventures, which really hurts my heart, so many states don’t have recycling programs. You would think in 2020 people would realize that we simply cannot afford to just throw everything away, and yet, here we are.

I have also found a deeper and more meaningful connection with Justin. I think when you share 350 square feet together, work in the same space, and spend just about every second with one another, things can go south fast. I am thankful that we have learned- though I will never claim or boast perfection, how to communicate better and more effectively (seriously. Anyone who has had to back up a camper or manually level one knows EXACTLY what I mean). We have also learned how to celebrate and lift each other up. And despite being together 24/7, we have found moments to be intentional about our time together. Oh, and the times we do have a tiff… there isn’t anywhere to go, so we have to confront those arguments head on, or just mean-stare at the other in complete silence, and that’s no fun.

What else…. oh yes, there is this little thing called career direction and “finding your sweet spot.” Kids, I done found it and it blasted my lil socks off so hard they came right back on. Ok, who I am kidding. I don’t wear socks unless I am hiking, but you get the idea. I will first and foremost say this. The jobs I held in the company I worked for for over two decades were stepping stones to get to this point. I am still and always will be proud for that company, grateful for the people and friendships I have and will always hold them dear to my heart. The position that fills my cup just doesn’t simply exist there. It took me a long (read that again but with more emphasis on the “o” loooooong) time to figure that out. And then there was comfort of being at a company that I knew inside and out. And you, know, gave me a consistent paycheck. But at a certain point, the stubborn “take-no-prisoners-you-deserve-utter-happiness” bull in me came out, and she wasn’t getting back in her cage anytime soon. Like, I couldn’t put her in there if I asked her nicely myself. And I am her. With that came uncertainty. There is so much truth to saying that doing what is right to you is FUCKING SCARY. But it is also FUCKING WORTH IT. I have finally figured out “what I want to be when I grow up,” and it is the most fulfilling and amazing feeling ever. In case you are curious, it is not becoming a ballerina or an astronaut- though the latter is still on the list. I have thrown myself fully into Enneagram and People & Leadership development. On my terms. My way. No one gets to tell me (unless it is a client) that I need to redo a PowerPoint slide, or that my idea sucks. Because I know that it is spot on. And my clients will tell you that. That in and of itself is the most incredible feeling. Along with, you know, changing their lives and all…

I am still navigating those waters and getting everything figured out. Today I will have gotten further than yesterday, and even further than the day before that. Sooner than later, I will be fully back in my comfort zone, except this time it will be one that it completely and truly me.

With everything above, I have also gotten clarity into my own meaning of life. No, I am not some sort of zen master psychic, or even close. But I have learned to slow down. To listen to me. Listen to my gut. Listen to my heart. In the chaos of the “race” I pushed her so far down. Now I get to have silence (you know me. This doesn’t last long.) I get to have pause. I get to be intentional. And make my OWN moments that matter to ME. And my dear stars almighty from the heavens above is she smart. I was put here to go through every minute of every experience I have had up until now (and of course beyond, but let’s not get too far ahead). And every single one of those experiences have lead me to this. And my word am I at peace with my past to be blessed to have this life.

And so with that, I will close on what I think might be another long (but well worth it!) post. I will say that in one trip around the sun (plus a week), I have learned more than my last almost 4 decades on this spinning rock. That knowledge came from pain. From triumph. From fear. From certainty that things would shake out. From uncertainty that things might not shake out. But, if there is anything more important than those (very important) things above, it’s this. Making a life change is scary. But what’s even scarier? Regret.

Live the life YOU love and that is true to YOU, you only get one. Cheers to the next 365 (and a week, damnit!) and beyond folks!

#MeyersGoMobile #HappyCamper #NoRegraets (I know, it’s from a tattoo gone wrong, not mine) #LoveYourLife

Nikki