Live the life you love?

What a concept, huh? You get this one, precious life… and you also get to decide how to live it. So, how exactly do you go about doing that?

Since making this leap, a lot of folks have either said “I am so jealous,” or “How were you able to do that?” And so, I want to share the journey. Because that journey is a lot like what happens when you look at Instagram pics… they look amazing, but you don’t see the different attempts at angles, lighting, filters or any of the mayhem that was happening in the background. I have always, and will always be honest in my journeys, and the path to getting there is no different.

Also, fair disclaimer- my journey and adventure to this point may not look like yours or what you envision. Take this with a huge grain of salt. And perhaps a margarita.

The time was January of 2019. We were on a dog hike. It was cold. Bitterly cold, lots of snow, wind and cold. I said that already, but it was fucking cold. I said to Justin “I cannot wait for spring and summer.” That sentence came out of my mouth every single day for the next couple of months. I dreamed of wearing shorts and flip flops- and the concept of being warm without 145 layers of clothing on seemed so foreign.

Fast forward to April. I knew I needed to take a mental break. Like a serious mental break. The weight of life was too much. It was on another hike that Justin and I had a chat of sorts that went something like this:

“Babe, I think I need to take a leave. I am just so overwhelmed and unhappy and I just need time.”

“Well, if you take a leave, maybe we should sell the house. You can take time to start packing and stuff.”

Sell the house. Sell the house. Sell the house. But I LOVED that house. We had done so much work renovating it, loving it, getting married in the back yard… There were so many great memories in the 7 years we lived there. I knew we didn’t use even 70% of it, it was a lot of work to clean, I hated doing yard work, and oh- there is this little thing called “work” that we had to do a lot of to pay the mortgage, heating/cooling, gas and all of the stuff to keep it running. But, it was our first home and it was ever so special to me. I just wasn’t ready (I was, but I wasn’t- if that even makes sense).

Off I went on a mental journey to wellness from May until September. And it was incredible. I was truly able to sort through myself and “come back.” A funny thing happened during that time. I was able to clearly see what had been in front of me the whole time. During my leave, all I could focus on was myself. I couldn’t log into anything work related (not that I wanted to- but I couldn’t even if I did). I spent a lot of time not at our house. We camped and traveled and enjoyed life. And I loved it. I realized that I didn’t miss our home while we were gone. I realized I was living a life without a lot of the “stuff” I owned, and I didn’t miss it- or even think about it. I also realized that I really didn’t like my job. (Here is a quick side bar- though I didn’t love my job, I loved the people. And also, my job was really easy. And flexible, and probably all of the things people want in a career- but not me. Also, anyone who has spent a collective 15 minutes with me would be able to figure that out.) Anyhow, I really started thinking about the chat my husband and I had months before, and like a switch, this all seemed possible. And necessary.

So, here is where it all began.

First, the “purge” began and didn’t stop for a while. Take a second from reading this. Look around your home. What, of the things you have, do you need actually need? What are you keeping because you have just always had it? And, why? QUICK. Tornado is coming… what do you grab? That is how it all started. We began going through things and asking, why? And if it couldn’t be answered, off it went. PS I really cannot remember any of the things we got rid of. So, it truly wasn’t that important.

Ok, cool. So you purged your house. Now what? Well, of course you have to create a plan. This is where you ask yourself what you want. Do you want to simply downsize and live where you do? Do you want to bail from a home-living life completely? Change your name and move to Belize? Write it down. That part helps to figure out how you are going to get there. Write out the big plan (anyone who has ever worked in a business knows about SMART planning… Specific Measurable Actionable Realistic and Timely, this is the perfect place to enact that). We will get to the details in a minute. It is also important to be realistic. Realistic in a couple of ways. Is your partner on board (if you have one)? Do you have kids? Are they on board? Do you have pets? Can they come? (The answer to that is yes, by the way) 🙂

Great. You have a loose idea of what you want in this life of yours. Now you have to figure out the deets. The nitty gritty. If you are like us, getting rid of your home means you REALLY have to pare down. We kept a bunch of furniture and sentimentals only because we plan to have a residence (though wayyyyy smaller) in some way shape or form, and don’t want to spend a bunch of pesos later buying all of this stuff again. Our timeline was flexible, but because winter was approaching, we had a bit of a fire under our rumps- so it went like this.

September:

– Get the house “sale” ready. And put it on the market. Part of this meant going through items and selling or donating (helllooooo facebook marketplace!!!) stuff that we needed to get rid of to stage the house.

– Let my boss know my intentions. We were getting ready to go into the holiday season, and in retail that is the busiest time of year. This was a slippery conversation though- what if it all fell through? I just always thought that being honest and transparent would be the best bet, no matter what.

– Get everything squared away with the dogs. What do they need? Mika and her epilepsy was something we needed to really think about… so we built in places to stay that were close to major universities for her to go to in an emergency. All vaccinations done, all meds filled- for as long as they would let us. Heartguard, tick meds… everything.

– Get all doctor appts figured out for us too. I was going from full-time to part-time, so I especially needed to get this done.

– Research a home on wheels. We had a camper, but it was absolutely too small for full-time living, and a bit too old for us, so we researched and researched until we found “the one.”

October:

– Everything became real when we sold the house. And anyone who has sold a house, knows all of the things that go with that. Inspection, more cleaning and purging, real packing starts

– Oh, and with the real packing comes the real emotion that this is really happening. So there are tears, and happiness and sadness and everything in between. But, when you are moving to a destination unknown, it is even more sad. Probably because of the uncertainty, or maybe it’s just me. For as exciting as all of this was, getting real is when it gets scary. Now, of course, it paid off, but I imagine it to be when you finally decide to sky dive. It’s super exciting to think about and think about the accomplishment when you are done, but dear lord in heaven do thoughts go through your mind in the airplane on the way up there, and most certainly when you toe the line to jump. Once you jump though, it’s pure elation. Anyhow, this was a time of a lot of packing and sweet Pete, a LOT of trips to Goodwill and the like just getting rid of stuff. I think Justin and I said at least twice a day to each other, “how did we get all of this shit??” Sidebar: This can be scary for everyone involved. And it means you may have feelings that you take out on those you love. Just be aware of that, and try to stay positive.

– We got the camper and planned as we packed. What was going into storage? What needed to be stored at Justin’s parent’s house (i.e. things that couldn’t get too cold)? And what was going to come with us? This wasn’t just packing. We had sections for boxes. And the boxes were labeled in detail.

– Then came mail. Where was it going to go? Thankfully, we were able to forward everything to Justin’s mom. And, USPS has informed delivery, where they show you everything you are going to get in the mail. SUPER helpful- especially since Mary made a couple mail dumps, and I knew exactly what was coming.

– Then came the address. We were moving from Minnesota to ? But we needed a permanent address for our new licenses and plates. THAT, my friends, was a journey. But, we got it figured out. Additional side note- you have no idea how far being nice will get you. Yes, even at the DMV. After we got an actual address, we had to update all of our credit cards and important places to get mail. And, make every single thing that we could paperless. Both for the environment and convenience. We were able to e-sign our loan documents so we didn’t need to get stuff done in person. This digital era sure is a time to be alive- make sure you research all of that, and what options you have.

– We also had to coordinate the closing on our home with when we were leaving MN (this meant we had to close early on our home, about 2 weeks early). Thankfully, we were able to stay at Justin’s grandma’s house for a week until we were set to head down. We needed to do this because we had 2 cars, and needed a truck to haul the camper. So, Justin sold his truck to a dealership, paid off his loan… I tried, but it wasn’t going to happen (and trying to figure out a truck for a 5th wheel on top of all of this was just too much). So we kept my Tahoe for the time being. This also meant we needed to figure out how we were gonna get the camper to our RV park. Enter UShip. It is an amazing platform that allows you to post what you need hauled and people can place bids. We found someone who was absolutely awesome. It is all bonded and insured, and it was cheaper than what we would have paid in gas. This gave us more time to figure the truck situation out. And, as we would later learn, this came with benefits and downfalls.

– Where were we gonna go? Well, in some still-to-be-determined way, we landed on Tennessee. But, that is about as far as we got. We had no idea until we were driving through Kentucky where we were actually going to stay. This is not how I recommend, or plan to do things in the future. It was just a lot of change and mayhem, so we had no other real choice. With all of the change and mayhem came a brain that just got overwhelmed, for each of us. So it kept getting pushed to “tomorrow,” and we all know the rest of THAT story. This also meant that we had to find and check out the RV park before the hauler came with our home. It was stressful because we had never been, didn’t know anything about where we were going or what to expect, or if they even had availability. Plus, we were driving through the mountains with no cell phone service.

I think though, that what I really want to say this. You build the life you want, and it all just sort of comes together. Did things work out the way we thought they would? Sort of. Some things were an absolute dream, and some an absolute mess. The stuff that went well we high-fived on and the stuff that didn’t, well we had no choice but to work through it. So I think the best advice I can give is this… Have a plan but no plan. Meaning, have a loose idea of what you want to do, get organized with what needs to be done, check it off as you go, and let go. Enjoy the process for what it is- focusing on what needs to be accomplished, but also for what is to come.

Like I mentioned before, it is very stressful, but you have to keep that in mind with your spouse, kids, pets, family, work etc. You just have to keep focusing on what you can accomplish and control, and work through the rest. Please trust me on this. The next thing you know, you are in the very place you want to be, and life has a completely different meaning. All of the sudden it all comes together, and you look back on the journey and just laugh, thinking “what a crazy ride, but here we are.” And that, my friends, is worth it’s weight in gold.

Cheers, and keep wandering, my friends!

Nikki

#MeyersGoMobile #ExpeditionHappinessAndTheArtOfWandering

Intentional living in all the small spaces.

Of all the posts I write, I always try to be fun and funny. Maybe this one will get there, maybe not. But still, I felt compelled to talk about what it is like to live in such a small space, how I got here, and how it has made me feel. I am also going to challenge myself, and you as well, to revisit this in a few months to see if I still agree.

Once upon a time in my life, it was all about making money. Lots of money. As much money as I could possibly make. And with that came the ability to own a HUGE house (and a lot of other “things”). I remember staking out huge houses on impossibly large lots of land, fantasizing about what it would be like to live in such a massive place, how jealous (we will come back to that) it would make my friends and family- and complete strangers as well to see that with such a huge home, came such… success. I wanted people to see my success status.

I worked my ass off. Quick side story- my dad passed very suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 20 years old. As the primary breadwinner of the house, my mom could no longer support me, my brother and herself on her salary alone, and so it was. Nikki’s tuition and random money here and there was now all up to Nikki. It’s one of those situations where you can feel sorry for yourself, or you just get to it and not complain, because complaining won’t get you anywhere. This was about the time that I was a full-time, pre-med student working for the proverbial “beer money.” And now, I needed to pay rent, utilities, food, tuition, clothing, gas… everything, on my own. So I then became a full-time pre-med student who was also a full-time employee. I think it was then that this obsession with having things and “one day” having a big house all came down on me. One because I like a good challenge, and two, I was so far from financial stability in my mind as I saw it that it was a good dream to have. And dream it was.

Fast forward to a decade and a half later. I started realizing that I was buying less “stuff.” And I didn’t feel like I had the need to buy anything anymore (unlike in the past when I would list all of the “things” I wanted to one day own). My husband and I had bought a huge house, which we had been living in for a couple of years. While it was beautiful, I would always get annoyed at having to clean it. So then I started dreaming of how nice it would be to have maids come and clean it for me. Why? Because it was too much, and more important- I wanted to be doing things, making memories, having experiences- all of that instead of cleaning for hours on the weekend. I loved having people over to marvel at what a cool house it was… structurally, it was really unique and private. More so, just our bedroom alone (not counting the 5 other rooms that came off of it in the master suite) was the entire size of my first apartment. But, I still didn’t feel like I was ready to let go. Let go of what people thought. Let go of my closet (oh ma lawd my closet… It had a desk for me to get ready in, with lights installed and I had a speaker and it was just my whole haven.) Let go of some of the other rooms in the house.

I soon realized that I was holding onto the memories in that house. I was holding on to the hours and hours of work we put into it. The memories we made doing that- even though at the time it was hard, hard work and LOTS of money… in the end you really only remember the great times. I also realized you can’t live in the past. And holding onto something because of the memories it had would prevent new memories from being made. But, it was also this point I chose to let go of what I thought I needed to have. That this sort of “prestige” was a bunch of bullshit. And then I started thinking about all of the people who thought this is how they needed to live their lives… name brand clothing. Visible name brand stuff, big houses, the best cars, purse collections. And I began to feel sorry for them. (This doesn’t mean you can’t like these things if you do- that is your prerogative, it just isn’t mine). So of course, if you read the previous posts, you know what comes next. Sold it all.

We sold it all and bought a camper. And while the camper is pretty big, relatively speaking, she’s big because she has to house us, our dogs and our life. At the end of the day, our bedroom is smaller than the open space in my old closet. My new closet is 4 feet long. I have 1 drawer for my other things. We went from about 5,000 square feet to less than 300. So, what about intention?

Intention. Our good friends at Webster’s say it is “A thing intended; an aim or plan. Your goal, purpose, or aim is your intention. It’s something you mean to do, whether you pull it off or not.” It can also be in medicinal terms, “The healing process of a wound.” We talk about intentions every day, and in so many different ways. Live our life with intention, speak with intention, many of us (hopefully) assume positive intentions with people. But, what does it really mean when you live it day-to-day? This is where my life changed a lot.

I have always wanted to be more conscious of what I do. What I use. But, in our busy daily lives, that can get tossed by the wayside without even thinking. Probably because we are just so used to freely doing and using what we need when we need it. I remember when I worked in a corporate setting- the sheer number of people who would order food “to go” and use throw-away products (granted they are compostable, thank goodness), when there are dish drop offs on every single floor. Some folks would take 2-3 disposable cups (I still don’t know why) when there were reusable ones right there. No one needs 15 napkins, but grabbing a heaping handful was “normal.” Anyhow, this isn’t a rant, just an observation. So here I am, now in this “tiny home” and life was about to get a whole lot different.

In intentional living, here is how my life looks now, as a list.

When I wake up in the morning, I make coffee. Justin and I only brought 3 coffee mugs. I typically reuse mine for a couple of days, rinsing it out, and putting it in the microwave when I am done until the next day. I don’t think you need to wash your own cup and waste water. And, the sink is really small.

I open all of the shades to let the sunlight in. Our camper has windows made to keep it cool when it is supposed to be cool inside and warm when it is supposed to be warm. We turn the thermostat down to 60 at night because the furnace heats the bedroom faster and hotter than the rest of the place, so it gets super hot. That conversely means it is really cold in the morning. A good, warm robe, a cozy blanket, coffee and slippers really keep it warm until it heats up. Also, a couple of candles can make a big (good smelling), difference.

When I shower, I have about 3 minutes. Our hot water heater stores about 6 gallons of hot water (appreciation moment- the shower gets hot, fast so I feel even better about using less water). Why do I do this? Currently, we are hooked up to a sewer- so whatever I use, goes right into there. But, that won’t always be the case. We might hunker down in a park where sewer isn’t available. When that happens, you have to empty your gray and black water into a portable tank, take it to a dump station and manually do it. The less I use now, the more prepared I am for those situations. Also, our shower head has a feature to “pause” the water, so when I am sudsing up or shaving, I can pause it until I am ready to use it again. Justin and I also know that the septic tanks aren’t really ready to handle toilet paper, so we do the “Costa Rican” method, and throw it away. Because we have a bin that we use for that, that “waste” is now available to be composted.

Making meals with intention is a whole different experience. In my old home, I would use whatever I needed, then toss it into the dishwasher. Well, now, Justin and I ARE the dishwashers. So when I cook, I reuse pots and pans if or as I can. For example, if I make bacon, the grease will work great for making anything else that needs butter, oil or grease. Again, some folks may not like this or think it is gross- I am not trying to change minds, this is simply an outline of how different my life has become, and the concessions I had to make in some instances, along with some I chose to make. I meaning Justin as well in some cases. We only have 2 pots and 2 pans. And ditto for plates and bowls (a couple more, but you get the idea). These also have to be washed right away- as I don’t want them sitting (again) in the small sink. So, I cook, we eat and then clean up right away.

This is a perfect segue into grocery shopping. I can’t buy a ton of food at once, and when I do buy food I have to keep a few things in mind.

– Will it fit in the fridge? (This is where my years of playing Tetris when I was supposed to be paying attention in math class comes in handy. And I am totally serious. I have never had to calculate angles of things, but I HAVE had to rearrange that thing more times that I can count. Sorry Mrs. Bauer)

– How long will it last, and do I have a meal plan that will include this? This not only goes for things that go in the fridge, but also in the pantry. We have 4 shelves, including the floor (that are about a little over a foot and a half by a foot and a half). These shelves hold non-perishable food, our plates etc., cups, glasses and air fryer/blender/crock pot. There is one shelf dedicated to food. Again, in our old home, we had a whole huge pantry. It makes me sick to think of everything that we threw out when we moved because we weren’t going to use it, it was expired (by the years in some cases) or we didn’t have room and it wasn’t high enough on the importance list.

– Do we really want it/need it? When you are in a HUGE grocery store, it is easy to fill your cart with things you might want later. For example, Justin and I had about 7,000 bags of tea (no exaggeration) that we never, ever used. But, it was nice to have in the event we ever wanted it. Again, that occasion was never.

I also take more frequent trips to the grocery store (and these trips are not standalone- when we hike the dogs or are out and about, we go then). With a list. And I don’t go every day, but more often and get exactly what I need. It helps that we have also made a loose list of what we plan to eat each day. Coincidentally, and to no one’s surprise, this helps in eating healthier anyhow. When I do go grocery shopping, I am armed to the helm with reusable bags… I don’t have room for tons of plastic bags (nor do I want to). And on the note of reusables- I don’t have room for disposable anythings (and from an environmental perspective, am SO thankful). So we have steel straws, Tupperware (yes we will be transitioning to glass- but I don’t want to toss them until they need to be for the sake of glass), a friend and co-worker made reusable “paper” towels. As in, they are fabric with Terrycloth in the middle, and they are AMAZING, and far more absorbent than paper towels are. We actually use the reusable coffee filter that comes with the coffee pot. I have a silicone scrubby for the dishes (so it lasts a LOT longer).

Inevitably, this takes me to laundry. We have a hookup for a washer/dryer combo- but I am on the fence about it. So, in the meantime, we use the laundromat here at the park. Thankfully, they are high efficiency. In living with intention, we only do laundry once a week, if that. We do have dogs, and Mika, my sweet girl with epilepsy does have potty accidents (from her medication), so I have to make sure there is a pad for her to lay on- and if she does have an accident, that we take care of that quickly. So, we reuse our shower towels, use the reusable kitchen towels (obviously with both of these things, we are not putting our health at risk and know when to not reuse). And our detergent has to fit a small space as well. There are lots of brands that pack a punch but don’t use up so much space.

And lastly, comes overall space. Everything that we brought with us, or acquire has to have a place to go. One of the things I LOVE about small space living is trying to maximize the space you do have, and find ways to organize effectively. This isn’t so much about environmental friendliness as it is just about making sure everything fits and is easy to access. That is a tough combination, my friends. It can be easy to pack things into a shelf or drawer, but if you can’t get to it easily (or have to take everything apart to get to it) it is just a pain in the ass, and will end up shoved back in, or doesn’t get put away at all. I loathe clutter, and as such, everything inherently has to have a place to go. One of the things Justin and I have had to work through is putting said things in said home when not in use. It is a learning experience, and we will get there. For me, looking at our drawers and shelves has meant a lot of changing spots (Justin I apologize for making fun of you for asking me a thousand times a day “honey do you know where…?” or “have you seen my…?”). But it feels good to change things up and get them to a place that truly makes sense. That said, I still have my mixing bowl set above the TV- but that is neither here nor there 🙂

Intentional living means you have a day-to-day plan. Of course, this takes work- and certainly isn’t perfect. I liken it to dorm life living, but more environmentally sound because we can afford better products. Eventually we will be able to bike to the grocery store (and that is our goal- to use our car less). The place we are staying now isn’t “biker friendly,” (i.e. not safe) which is a whole different post entirely… the lessons we have learned in this first month about choosing a place to live have been outstanding- in the best and worst way possible (but I love it, and appreciate the lesson).

Intentional living has been tough and not-so. I think you have to either be ready to make huge changes, or be forced to. For me, it was both. I didn’t have an option, but I wanted to make a difference in a smaller carbon footprint. I am using far, far less of our precious resources than I ever have in my life. I also get to benefit from how it makes me feel. And I have also enjoyed being present in my daily decisions- both large and small. On top of it all, I have saved so much money. Because I am not being wasteful. That feeling far outweighs the minor inconveniences I have felt occasionally.

The other part to this is the life I get to lead- I don’t have to get kids up, ready and off to school. I don’t have to sit in traffic to get to my 9-5, run my day and then sit in traffic on the way home- and then try to cram in errands, exercise, dinner etc. I also get to live intentionally in a spiritual good-for-your-mind-body-and-spirit way in that I can take the time. In the morning, once I get up and make my coffee, I have time to decide what I want to do with my day, when I will fit the things in I need to do, and want to do. I take a 3 minute shower, but lounge around casually journaling, cooking, blogging or writing my to-do list. There is something HUGE to be said about having that time. But I have that time because I didn’t want the things that came with that sacrifice.

So that, friends, is my interpretation living an intentional life.

Cheers, and stay intentional where you can.

Nikki

#MeyersGoMobile

Knox Knox… Who’s there?

WE ARE! Side note: If you know anything about me, you know that a. I have been dying to type this subject line, and have had it in my head for about a week and b. You know how much I love cheesy jokes.

Anyhow, yes we are in Knoxville, Tennessee. Kind of, I think? We are in Sevierville. Ask me how to say it… Sever-ville, See-vee-er-ville, Sauvier-ville. I have no idea. But, we are here. Before I get all sentimental on myself for this amazing adventure we have embarked on, let’s get to the brass tacks and talk about what it has looked like leading up to this point.

So, I love telling stories (duh, that is why I have 3 blogs). Some stories are better than others, and this one is going to be one of those stories that 2 years from now I will laugh about. Not now though, I am not at that point. Let’s take a little journey back into time on what the last 2 (?) weeks have looked like.

November 27th was a big day for me. It was my last day in “Corporate America” and boy was I excited. The world, now my oyster. But first, there was a whole lotta packing going on. As it was our last night in Minnesota, and in our first home, we had packing and cleaning and organizing to do. And wine- ok, we had to have that too. And so it was, with a full to the brim UHaul trailer on my truck and a full to the brim trailer* on Justin’s, off we went to Appleton to have Thanksgiving dinner and unpack everything except the few boxes we had to put into the camper, and “our life” for the next however long (* Yes, we downsized a LOT, but we are building a cabin over the summer, so I saved a bunch of stuff to decorate and furnish the place, once that is done- everything that is left goes). That, my friends, was a long wobbly drive with the trailer swaying about. We made it safely, had dinner with family, and stayed at gramma Dolly’s house with the pups. This entailed us unpacking the boxes for the camper into her house until we packed them up again to unpack them in the camper, to then unpack the boxes. Mark my word- my next move, I will have packers and movers.

December 2nd was also a big day. It was the day we formally closed on our house. It was a nice day- and Britney Spears’ and Aaron Rodgers’ birthday to boot. Around 3:30, I got a panicked call from our realtor.

“Hey, so did you guys get your septic inspected every 3 years?”

Huh? Wasn’t everyone in the closing meeting signing paperwork right now?

“Well, I know we got it pumped every 3 years…?”

I will spare the details, but after a lot of phone calls to the neighbor, and repeat dials to the city of Rosemount, it was confirmed that yes, we did. But dear lord baby jesus in heaven did that give me a panic attack (because if the closing didn’t happen, then I had no job, and we had no where to go). And the closing went well.

Off we went to Gary, Indiana (a lot like Vegas if you ask me…) to pick up our new home. I was so excited. Us, the pups, a tiny UHaul on the back of my truck with all of the “things” we decided were important to us from now until, well, whenever I suppose. And a gorgeous day. We got to the camper place, checked out our new rig, signed the paperwork, unpacked (yep- again), and now we were en route to Lexington for the night.

Of COURSE we weren’t done with our house-closing mayhem, and at this point, we were informed that one of the gals who wrote everything up made a mistake. A mistake of which she deemed needed to be resolved AT THIS VERY MOMENT. So now, we are on the road, me driving through hills and mountains and it’s dark and we are trying to figure out what to do. At the same time, we were on the phone with the title company, we were also trying to figure out our camper loan logistics… like, what you do when you have a permanent address, but it can’t be found in any legal system (the DMV was the place we first figured it out, and perhaps the best place to run into that kind of issue. I know you are sensing my deep sarcasm and can probably feel my eye roll) but you don’t actually get mail at said non-existent but existent- according to the gal who put in the request for our address to be a real address’ insistence, because it is too rural. So then you decide to use your in-laws PO Box but that also doesn’t work when trying to get license plates for your rig. Oh, and where do you send them? These are the issues that Justin and I didn’t anticipate would be a big issue, but my word almighty, they won’t stop (also when you try to update your address on all of your credit cards and such and you can’t use a PO Box, but that is a whole different bag of worms).

Home closing mayhem, vehicle registration mayhem aside, we arrive safely in Kentucky. There are limited places one can stay with dogs, especially with 4 of them. And so, we found ourselves at the classiest establishment one could imagine. Yep. Super 8. And they aren’t lying when they say they’ll leave the light on for you. Unless that was the last person to occupy the room. Maybe they did? Either way, it was dark. I had been driving (and dealing with a lot of this crap) for the better part of 12 hours, and I was tired and hungry and hanging on to the excitement of what was to come. I don’t know what it was about this part of town, but I was absolutely convinced we were going to be robbed or shot or both at some point in the evening, but I was also so beat, I just didn’t care. Morning came, and as we were to head on our last leg of our journey- we got a much needed, and special treat. Becca, the gal we got all of our babies from, lives in Lexington, and met up with us for a bit to see Gus, Mika and Arnie (Trixie too, but she had her anxiety meds and was passed out in the back). It was so cool to see them interact with her. Of course they were a bit apprehensive at first, but I can’t blame them (Arnie). Some of the times they see her, it is because a family is giving them back to her. That said, we had a nice little hang out at the park and off we went.

I am not generally a mean person, but Tiffany at the title company tested every frayed nerve I had left throughout the day, and needless to say, in the event we move back to Minnesota, I certainly will not be allowed anywhere near Burnett Title. So, if you were wondering how THAT 4 hour drive went, I think that sums it up nicely. To make this journey even more fun, we also didn’t know where we were going to plunk down to “live” for the next few months. That was part of the fun, but also a HUGE risk. Much like the previous week of this journey, we began to run into a lot of issues. Our requirements for an RV park were pretty simple:

– Monthly rates (or reasonable daily/weekly ones)

– Reliable internet

– Access to sewer/water/30-50 amp electric

– Dogs allowed

– Ah, yes and most important, availablility

The Stones have a nice little ditty aptly named “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” which I found to be far too true in this instance. Of those requirements, we kept hitting a wall.

Folks- this is the part in a roadtrip where one has what I will call a “meltdown.” The part where you just say “fuck it” and resign yourself to sleeping in your car and nothing in life will ever go right and why did we do this and why did we choose Tennessee and I’m over it. And of course, this won’t be the first of said meltdowns.

We found a place, and it’s nice. Not nice like “oh we can stay here forever,” but nice as in, ok I can stay here for a month. Yes, it’s nice, but we also accidentally stumbled upon Dolly Parton’s hometown (or something like that) and this place is busy as the dickens and touristy. Whatever. It’s a place to put our heads down for now. A quick note- when we got here, we still had 1 day until the camper was to be delivered to the RV park, so we stayed in another hotel for the night. Wanna guess where? Yep, and once again, they left the light on for us.

The moment I had been waiting for was finally here. Our new home was arriving!! I watched as Jeff, our driver pulled her up the hill, swung around the park and put her on the pad that was to be called home for one whole day. I will get to that. We introduced ourselves, and he unhooked the rig from his truck. And ladies and gentlemen, this is where the magic happens! You literally push a button, called Auto Level and boom, it’s done. With our old camper, we had a drill and would run from front to back levelling up and down and then I would run into the camper with a level and check to make sure everything was good. But no longer. Now, I just pushed a button. So, I did just that. Pushed it. And watched the magic happen.

Until the red flashing light came on. That is the part where in a cartoon, there is a dream or wish bubble over one of the character’s heads and another character has a needle and with an evil grin, pops it.

Long story short, it didn’t auto level. And so, here I am, on the phone with the camper people walking me through how to manually level our $85,000 brand new, home. Oh- it is important to note that we are on a cliff. My heart was in my throat. I pushed the buttons they told me to push (coincidentally, what’s app, facebook messenger video and FaceTime all, ALL were not working. And, wait for it… there is an app that you download to control your whip that I downloaded that. Yep. Also didn’t work). So, I am pushing the buttons. Heart pounding. One side went up. The other side wouldn’t. I will spare you, but for an hour I tried my best to level this beast, but it just wouldn’t work. So, our first night was spent in a wobbly whip on a cliff.

The next day, we had to move our camper to a different site. Jeff, our delivery guy, was kind enough (like, seriously kind enough) to drive up from Georgia on his way back to his own home, to move it again. And again we tried to auto level. And again, it didn’t work. And again I thought I was going to cry. So instead, Justin and I decided to take the pups for a much needed hike. We were right next to the Great Smoky Mountains- this was heaven for us! We found an awesome first spot- with a waterfall! Got out of the car… harnesses and leashes on.

And there was the sign. “No dogs allowed on trails.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

In case you are curious, dogs aren’t allowed on any trails in the mountains. Like, zero. There also aren’t paths to walk dogs where we are. And again, I wanted to cry.

Justin and I travel really well together, but by this point we’d had some “moments.” Of which, we let our frustrations get to the best of us. I think for most people, this would be the case, but it still adds misery to mayhem, so we promised each other we would just try to approach these situations better.

Ever the GIS-mapping guy, Justin called everywhere to ask where we could hike them. And a park was found, an hour drive one way, away. It was an absolutely awesome hike. 8.5 miles. We needed it so bad. On the drive, we called around asking how we get someone to look at our camper and how to fix the auto level. I want you to close your eyes and imagine the camper place (that we bought it from), Jayco Customer Support, and Lippert (the manufacturer of the leveling system) all standing there with their fingers on their nose- the symbol for “not it.” Yes folks, all of them say it isn’t their problem. And again, I almost lost my mind.

That brings us to today. And the whole reason for this post. Shit goes south sometimes. And in our case, it has gone so south I think I am in Antarctica. I left out a lot of added details, because that would make for a MUCH longer post… you get the idea from what you have already read. As I said, shit goes south. But in the bigger picture, Justin and I are learning some important lessons. Lessons that we would have learned at some point or another, so why not just get it out of the way all at once? I have never had a camper like this before, and I feel pretty smart in troubleshooting this here home of ours, and if I am being realistic, this isn’t the first time I am going to run into a problem. We also learned what we need to look for in a destination, and in a park to stay in.

And, what melted us down when the gals at the front desk said “y’all can stay, but you have to be out by December 26,” (yes, the day after Christmas) and felt like another defeat, now means we are able to move to our next destination that will hopefully be better for all of us. I don’t hate Tennessee, but I also don’t think it is the place for the Meyers crew, and am thankful for the place to stay- but excited for the next spot.

I wouldn’t change anything. I am so much happier in a smaller space, our camper is really nice- despite being a little wiggly right now. But that, the issues with the closing of our home, the issues with finding out where our mail is supposed to go… that is all very temporary. In the long term, we are still in the absolute infancy of this whole journey. Justin and I are learning better ways to work together, and for every downfall, we are getting better at saying “I am sorry,” getting better at learning how to take on an issue when the other person just can’t. We have been working out together every day, and made a menu of healthy meals to cook together. Big picture, we are doing really awesome. He hears my frustrations and tries to help how I need him to and vice versa.

This lifestyle isn’t always pretty. But neither was the previous one.

My point is this… First and foremost, you can’t always get what you want. And you have to learn to let go of the things you can’t control. And second, there is absolute value in not having a Plan A. Because that shit will not, no matter how hard you try, go as planned. You really shouldn’t even have a Plan B. In my opinion a loose idea of a plan is good, but just let everything go and it will all work out in the end. And so, I am finishing my coffee, headed to the fitness center (which Justin really loves) to get worked out by my best coach, and head on a hike with the pups. It’s an hour away, but the scenery is beautiful. Also, it snowed last night. Our goal was to get away from all of that mayhem, but I also learned that when it snows here, it is gone the next day. So cheers to the snow melting, but enjoying it while it’s here, and to our next (mayhem filled) adventure.

Stay curious friends, and let that shit go.

Nikki

What the hell are we doing?

Exactly.

The short answer is making the biggest, wildest decision of our lives to live our one best life.

The long answer is captured in this post.

I have always been 2 things. A no-holds-barred adventurer and a serial monogamist in life. I know what you are thinking. That makes absolutely no sense. Yep, I know- but stay with me. I love routine. The dependability and stability of it, what I can expect and when, like most people do. But, I also, and more dominantly, thrive on not knowing where I might end up next. What adventure I can get myself into. For this reason, I have worked at the same company for 20 years (I still can’t believe they hired a 5 year old…) and yet I have done research projects in the Bahamas and Costa Rica (in the actual rainforest, with no running water or electricity), went to Germany for a bit. Traveled to some of the most amazing places in the world with no plan or itinerary, and journeyed on endless, aimless road trips. And, it’s in these moments I have this sheer sense of wonder and excitement- it’s these moments I feel most like myself and have been truly happy.

A little over 10 years ago, I met my proverbial match. I met a man who loved adventure as much as me- but who also has a much better way of planning and thinking through scenarios. If you know anything about the Enneagram, I am a 7 and he is a 6 (7’s are a “leap then look, everything in life is awesome and fun and good and the more adventure, the better.” 6’s are a “plan every single scenario and pitfall before even toeing the line, and then once you get to said line, rethink every scenario just to be safe). Now that you are armed with that knowledge, know that once upon a time, I dreamed up an adventure to go spur-of-the-moment adventure camping- and it was going to be awesome. Got home from work, told Justin to pack his bag and the dogs. We drove for 4 hours to “the campsite,” but since I didn’t do my due diligence, I never actually checked the address to make sure it was the right place. We ended up driving 4 hours to find it was the state park administration building, and not an actual campsite. One other caveat? The campgrounds hadn’t even opened yet for the season. So, we got to drive (a very long) 4 hour drive back home. And now, Justin handles those logistics.

Fast forward to this summer. We all go through tough stuff. And, we all handle it differently. I had gone through some tough stuff, and wasn’t handling it the way I should, and decided to get some help. During this time, I was stripped away from just about everything that defined me (in the best way possible). Most notably, my job and my presumed identity for the last 2 decades of my life. While I certainly felt a lot of pride for the time I put in, the relationships and the things I had accomplished, I also knew that there was something incredible, and more “me” just on the other side of this one career. And, being gone for 4 months allowed me to see that more clearly, and let go. And then I decided it was time to also let go of the physical things holding me back. Meaning- all of the shit I have collected or held onto for the last 37 years. And, in case you are wondering, it is a lot of shit. Marie Kondo said it best that if it doesn’t give you joy, get rid of it. So that is what I did. I found a box of notes from 7th grade to the end of high school, and while the nostalgia was fun, there is no reason I needed to have these things. I purged and purged and my god did it feel good. I took trips to Goodwill and Savers. I developed relationships with the nice folks at the donation centers. I was on a “get rid of shit” high. Then Justin and I had “the” conversation.

“Babe, what if we sold the house?”

“I mean, it’s beautiful, and we love it and everything… it’s just too big and too much and I don’t love my job enough for it to justify paying such a ridiculous mortgage on it.”

And, Justin agreed.

It’s a big deal to sell your home, at least to me. This was our first home, and with the help of an amazing friend, we flipped it (and had the BEST 2 weeks of absolute debauchery doing it), got married in the backyard, had all of our babies (dogs) here, where they got to experience a fenced in yard for the first time… had incredible family visits, friend visits. It has seen so much love. But you don’t hold on to something because of that. When you do, you are holding yourself back from experiencing new and more amazing adventures to come.

And so, on the market it went. It wasn’t long before we found the perfect buyers (and I may or may not have a new best friend I have yet to meet). Now it was time to figure out where our next step was.

And that, that next step is the whole reason for this blog.

We didn’t go house hunting. We went camper hunting. I decided I am not my company (interestingly enough, the tagline this year is “I am” said company…). I also realized that Corporate America, sales, retail and a 9-5 is also not me, and found my calling helping others. And so, while this adventure unfolds, I am working to become a certified Life Coach and Enneagram Coach with the goal of helping others realize what they want out of this life, who they want to be and how to get there. Side note: That absolutely includes you. I will have my website up soon.

Our plan is to get in the camper and go. Where we stop, nobody knows… kidding. Everyone will know, we just haven’t landed on a place yet for the winter.

So what does that mean?

That means…

No more snowy winters. I like snow for all of 30 seconds and then I am absolutely over it.

More time outside doing things we love (dog hikes, bike rides, camping, stargazing, bonfire-ing, kayaking, getting lost, EXPLORING AND LIVING LIFE)

No mortgage. No electric bill. No gas bill. No cable bill. No credit card bill (need not, want not- folks). No car payments.

Although it may seem counter-intuitive, we are going to have a much smaller carbon footprint. Yes, it takes gas to get where we need to go- but once we get there, I won’t be wasting gas on a 40-mile daily round trip journey to and from work in a “too big for me but big enough for all of our dogs” SUV, or many other journeys for that matter. Our camper is solar ready. We have been practicing the art of zero waste. We won’t have nearly the same amount of stuff, nor will we have a ton of space to collect. We won’t be able to freely use as much water (though we really don’t use a lot to begin with). Life is going to be simple. Down to earth. Just the way I like it.

So that brings me to the end of my first post. The point of this whole thing lies in a few thoughts… This is a space for me to chronicle our adventures, that I happen to be sharing with the world (<– go big or go home, figuratively, right?). For me to always remind myself to stay grounded. For others to learn along with us how to live a life you love, and not one you think you have to. To work through what it will mean to live in a small space with a spouse and puppers. To always remember that having stuff doesn’t equal being happy. To not live in the “when I retire” or the “next year” plans, but to be present in the journey that is life, in the here and now. And most important, to practice gratitude and appreciation that though difficult at times, this is the life we want to live and are lucky enough to be granted the opportunity to do so.

Happy wandering, friends and stay curious.

Nikki

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton